So you said you're a marathon runner? Well? Are you?

     Well? It's been over three years since that receptionist at UPMC Lemieux asked me if I was a "marathon runner". Truth is, by now I was supposed to be, but I'm not.

Because COVID.

The first race to fall for me was the Pittsburgh half marathon. I was supposed to party pace it with Angela. I wanted to do the Rim to Rim 10k in NRG - didn't happen. No Eagle Up Ultra (I was slated to lead a team of 8 for a 100mi relay...).  Our "hot-as-hell-why-do-I-do-this-to-myself????" Moon Glow 5k didn't happen. Neither did our annual 4th of July run on the Rt 66 trail in Lucinda for the Firecracker 5k. But by the fall, things will be different... right??

I started training for Columbus, truly believing that things would, indeed, be different in the fall. My doctor's brain knew better. How could we possibly get ten thousand people jammed into a couple city streets for a gigantic marathon?? I was in denial. I started training because... What else was there to do?

Turning Point: June 28, 2020. I realized how much I hate doing long runs by myself. I hate running in the heat. Doing it alone is even worse. This absolutely disastrous run completely blew me apart. The uncertainty of not knowing if I'd even be able to run the actual race weighed heavily on me. If I was going to torture myself with these long runs, I needed to know that I'd get to race. The following week, Columbus announced that the race would be canceled. I was embarrassed to be relieved. 

Coach switched me up to speed work. Nothing more than 45 minutes. Track workouts. 5k time trials. I came very close to matching my 5k PR on my second time trial. I had zero doubt that my next 5k race in cool weather would be a PR. Possibly a big one.

No Barber Beast. No Stop Drop & Run. No Hartford. No Columbus. By this point, I'm over it. I joined the US Triathlon Association. The Y reopened in June and I swam 1-2 times a week. I changed my work schedule in July to free up Monday nights for me to go to open water swims at Moraine State Park. I won my age group by default and earned a medal in a half-mile open water swim by being the only athlete in my age group. Whatever, a medal is a medal. I worked damn hard. I considered buying a bike but I feel like I need to run my marathon before I switch to multisport. I also know that I can't rely on the Y being open for swim training, as the pandemic could cause it to close at any time (which, in fact, did happen in December and is still the case).

  

 In early October, we saw what we thought would be our first opportunity to race in the post-pandemic 2020. What we didn't know is that it would also be our last. We joined PUSH Beaver County for their Superhero 5k in downtown Beaver. The kids ran their 1k and we went in full costume - All Might, Izuku Midoryia, Tsuyu and Todoroki (My Hero Academia...). Aunt Mel came - Batwoman :) I wasn't planning on a PR - I ran a strong race somewhere in the 28 range. I thought I placed third in my age group but never received any kind of notification. You see, in pandemic racing, you don't stick around for an awards ceremony. You go right home after the race...

    I was holding all my speed for Thanksgiving. I had my hopes set on a big PR at the Turkey Trot in Beaver all year. Ever since July when Columbus canceled, I had been training for 5k speed. I was crushed when they changed the format to virtual the week before the race. It was the right call, but I was crushed.

    It took me until then to really lose my mojo. I haven't really gotten it back yet. I've been blowing off workouts; running easy or not at all when I have actual work on my schedule. I was able to hold it together for nine months but now it's just too much. The uncertainty has finally shut me down. December was my lowest mileage month all year and I didn't get to swim at all since the Y has been closed for covid. I got the covid-19: Yeah it's 19 pounds. OK, it's not actually 19 literal pounds but it feels like it.

Today, I had hard 5k intervals on my schedule. Two miles at 8:45 with 5 minutes of rest in between. I had a hard workout and no real reason I could see for doing it. On top of that, it was 33 degrees and raining outside. I did it and I can't say why. I just did. Probably because it was the right thing to do. My Amazon Music Playlist led my run today with Dark Horses by Switchfoot on my way out the door. 

..."I've made my mistakes
I've seen my heart cave in
I've got my scars
I've been to hell and back again

Born for the blue skies
We'll survive the rain
Born for the sunrise
We'll survive the pain..."

I let the cold rain baptize me into 2021 and I decided to run the Virginia Beach Half Marathon in March. God willing, I'll become a marathon runner in Columbus in October 2021. Stay tuned.

2020 Recap

Cami and Mommy celebrating a socially distanced New Year's Eve - 2020

Dear 2020,

    I posted nothing in 2020. I lost some things. Thankfully I didn't lose anything irreplaceable, but I did lose time. I lost races. I lost mojo. I lost money. I lost parties, family time, and social interaction. The word "unprecedented" was worn out by April.

    But I didn't lose my health. I didn't lose my family or my job (in fact, I took on extra jobs). I didn't lose my business, my parents, my husband, my children, or my own life.

    I read the entire Bible - cover to cover. I gained faith even though I set foot inside my church less than ten times all year. I honed my ability to not just find the silver lining but to live there. I thanked my creator for the unique combination of genes that has made me so damn easy-going.

    The emergence of SARS-CoV-2 was something I watched with a growing sense of dread as I listened to my morning NPR briefing spit out the numbers of cases and deaths in China as the outbreak grew. There was so much unknown about how the disease was spread that when it really hit the states, we just shut down. In hindsight, it was more draconian than was necessary but there was no possible way to know that at the time.  We stayed home for two solid weeks in March. I was off work for nearly two weeks followed by another 8 weeks of working only half my normal hours. My God-sent generous boss found a way to pay his staff through the whole ordeal, a thing for which no words or actions can ever fully articulate my gratitude. While neighbors and friends became unemployed, others took advantage of the government relief to find themselves in a better financial position than they had ever experienced before. 

    

    Angel Wings got slow for a month, which I welcomed. Then it boomed, providing additional financial support in a very uncertain time. The weather was blessedly cooperative when my clients called and I saw so many beautiful goodbyes happen completely outdoors.

    The summer was relatively quiet. We played cards with the neighbors outside in the evenings. The kids played in our yards with the neighbor kids. We laid the foundations of friendships that I hope we will continue to build for years to come.

    We changed our vacation plans to include rural cabins instead of crowded beaches. In September, I gained a stay-at-home-dad husband. His dedication to his children trumped his frustration with his job. The scales tipped. In order to protect our family to the fullest extent possible, he gave a huge part of himself. In what I can only possibly classify as the divine intercession of the Holy Spirit, less than 24 hours after my husband quit his job, I was offered per-diem work at a local ER that would replace the income lost by his resignation from his job. There was only one word to explain it: PROVIDENCE. Look it up. Say, "Amen."

    School started. The kids had in-person instruction. There were lots of mitigation strategies and school was not normal by any means, but they went and they learned. Things started to come undone around Halloween. People got complacent. They became arrogant. Halloween parties thrown by grown-ass adults led to the quarantine of hundreds of students when people from the party tested positive for SARS-CoV-2. By Thanksgiving, the kids were in school 100% virtually (ie: at home). Joe became a full-time stay-at-home-dad AND teaching aide. Thanksgiving saw more groups gathering in spite of warnings from public health officials. Early December shows hospitals "on the brink" but no one seems to care. Until it's you or your family member who can't find care, it won't hit home. I hope no one has to experience that. People are over it. Unfortunately, the virus doesn't get "over it". It just spreads. Case numbers are higher in late December here in PA than they have ever been so far. On the bright side, we now know what sorts of mitigation strategies are helpful. We know that fomites aren't a big deal and short duration contacts are less risky. Angel Wings visits average less than 20 minutes of time inside the home - with all parties masked and providing as much distance as possible. I've not caught covid-19 yet. As of my last blood donation in November, I'm still "covid antibody-negative".

    The presidential election and following election drama was a complete shit-show.

    SARS-Co-V vaccines hit the US. I can think of a handful of friends who have received the vaccine. There's optimistic talk of the broad rollout of vaccines but it hasn't happened yet. Logistical issues abound. Promises of millions being vaccinated go unfulfilled. I say this in jest but also with some truth: there need to be more veterinarians in public health.     

☃️❤️The kids got to build a snowman ❤️☃️

❄️❄️❄️WE HAD A WHITE CHRISTMAS!!! ❄️❄️❄️

Overall, 2020 could have been worse. Don't get me wrong, it definitely could have been better too.

Onward.